9/3/10

Textuality

As I log on to an online game,  a massive realization struck me.  In our modern age, we are developing such a depth of our digital self that we could be considered to have a Digital Gender.  A way we identify that part of our self that is solely computerized.  I am very much a man and identify myself as male, yet my gender becomes much more fluid while chatting online.

This is not going into the internet old pretending to be a girl for MaD CyBorZ.  I am actually talking about finding an interesting part of yourself where you identify more as someone or something else while
at your computer.

How deep does the rabbit hole go?  As far as you let yourself free.

No longer is a person bound by genetic codes, visual stereotypes, physical limitations, or speech patterns. Now, a digital entity, they may make of them self what they feel most comfortable.  Though this can be taken to extremes, when given the time and introspection, how many of us rebuild a different 'me' online.  More of who you wish you were and less of what you have become.

Is this persona truly less valid?  Many people spend more time socializing through online games, chat services, social networking than they do personally.  How can this digital face be less honest than their physical one?

It can be, given motive behind it.  If it is made to deceive or coerce people's behavior.  But what about those that take a face just to be them self.  I am one of those people.  I was always a short fat kid with a lisp, though I grew out of it, I developed a distance from people that I have trouble getting over.  It's that deep seeded fear of people seeing that part of you that you hate most.  When online, I am more comfortable talking with people as I can form my thoughts so much more clearly in a written form.  There is no fear of a lisp
coming out, or of my physical form coming across as offensive.

I can face people with more confidence and therefore hold deep conversations on subjects of interest without the implications of physical interference.  This freedom has been seen for some time by the internet, oft times as internet tough guys hiding behind the veiled anonymity of their computer.  I just want to speak of it as the
freeing force that it can be to help those take a moment to under stand something important... A person is a complex mess of emotions, accept who you are, forgive yourself for it, and embrace it.  Take a moment to look around and you'll find somewhere that you will be accepted, because... there are a lot of us out there to give you a hug when you finally come out.

1 comment:

  1. You are so much more than I every hoped you could be. You are your own person and not the expectations of anyone else. I'm proud of you.

    ReplyDelete